Oh pacifier, oh pacifier

 Paci, nubby, bub, bink, sucker, nu-nu, mama, tati, pass, lolli, wubby, sassy, dummy, plug, popper, soother, nuk, poppy, kiki, button, boppy, and bubby. These are all the names I’ve heard over the years for the little piece of rubber or plastic formed into an artificial nipple-ish shape that is used by many to console their sweet babies.

     My kids, I think, are odd. They’ve never really taken to the pacifier. I’ve always had some on hand if even only for those times we’re in the car and really can’t stop. Each of them, so far, had a different brand preference, if and when they would take one. One liked soothies or Nuks, one liked playtex, one DID like mams for five seconds until deciding they sucked. (just re-read this. oopsy. pun not intended.)

      Not even my bottle-fed babe really took one but on occasion when she was particularly cranky. Certainly not to the point that any true weaning was ever a thing. But gracious, would it have been nice on those nights where my sweet girl would not go for any method of “sleep training” or “self soothing”. (All of which I have more disparaging opinions on now but it was what it was and that was then.) Even if it just meant she stayed calm and quiet while I held her all night and day!

    With my second, I was hyper-focused on successfully breastfeeding after barely making it a couple months with my first. I did NOT want her having a pacifier in her mouth evaaarrr. Ever. For the sake of my supply and our success. Well, not only did she not really accept a paci but she wouldn’t take a bottle. The two or three times she was offered a bottle she’d only drink an ounce or two and wait out the time it took me to get back from wherever I was and then she’d nurse like crazy. Maybe to prove a point to me? More likely to ensure herself that all was well in her tiny world. Regardless, we made it to 17 months of economical and/or exclusive and/or on-demand breastfeeding.

    Now, here I sit, typing this up and wondering if it’s even coherent. My sweet Pumpkin (baby three) was up ALL night last night. Nursing on and off, fussing, burping, farting, fussing, staring at the ceiling fan in quiet, fussing, cooing, smiling, nursing more, NOT SLEEPING. It was definitely the hardest night in all of these ~2 months thus far. Considering this child has been an excellent sleeper even though he does not let more than 3 hours pass without eating and he’s only had the tiniest smidgen of mixed up days and nights. I don’t know why but that plastic paci gets to be very appealing when your little babe has been on and off for 30 minutes at a time (30 on, 30 off, that is), both sides, for over 6 hours. At some point, my husband just HAD to take over and let me sleep for a full hour while he sang and rocked our very-awake baby at 4am. Thankfully, this little buddy is a peach and he’s pretty content 98% of the time. Just not last night.

      Apparently, the paci he had taken to a couple weeks ago is not his flavor anymore. He acted like I was torturing him by responding with gags and funny faces when I touched a different one (the kind we’d tried originally) to his little pursed lips. I venture to guess he’s going the way of my second in totally denying any soothing from a rubber nub. I guess he just prefers the original pacifier, if ya know what I mean. (Nipple. I’m referring to female, human nipple.) 


     Here’s to coffee, I suppose!

Beefing Up the Budget

     We're in the middle of trying to cut and trim and shape our budget. We want to get the heck out of debt. Amazingly our greatest expenses aside from housing are food, household misc, and gas (ugh it's always freaking gas).

     We have the best phone deal on the planet (IMHO) via Virgin Mobile. I've looked and looked to make sure we're getting the best deal. If anyone knows of anything better please don't let me continue on thinking we're doing well here. No contract, unlimited data, unlimited texting, and the ability to change our plan minutes every month is exactly what we need right now. They have lots of different plans and there's a ton of flexibility so we don't have to worry about crazy fees or unexpected things. Our phones don't suck and if we wanted to pay near full price we COULD get iPhones if we wanted too. (But we don't. I mean, I do . . . but I'm trying to know better.)

      We only pay for the internet plan we "NEED"(that's a first world need in case you were confused). It's enough to run Netflix if we want too and make sure our internet isn't dropping out in the middle of an important online assignment. We're about to cut it down and save $15-20 a month too. We don't have cable TV. We use Netflix and Hulu as we please. We can change our plans or put them on hold anytime. Right now we've got Hulu on hold for the summer since all our beloved shows are over. 

     The hard part is coming up with our monthly "blow money" (as many Dave Ramsey fans call it), our general household budget for food and toiletries, and freakin' gasoline. 

     So for the blow money: my hubby tends to want to cut it all out and do nothing. I gently (haha) remind him that I'm at home ALL the time 24/7 with no car (we only have one vehicle, another post for another day) and if he likes my sane version of me he'll help me find a way to set aside like $20 to go OUT and do something as a family. That money can be used for the extra gas to take a day trip to the state park, to go to the mini golf place down the street one weekend, or to snag a good deal on Living Social for food or an activity. Discussions are still underway. We're pretty good about not spending too much on these outings. We're NOT so great at avoiding fast food. That is something we ARE planning to cut out completely and it will be rolled in with the blow money. Instead of full-priced icecream from coldstone we might go for $1-2 shakes or slushies some night. 

   For the gas: Bane of my existence. Fo'realz. We do have a Sam's Club membership this year. We decided to try it out. So, we get a discount at their gas station. Sadly, that's on the other side of town so it's actually an out-of-the-way drive to get gas from there UNLESS we're on that side of town for one of three things (school, Sam's, or hubby's softball games). I've yet to find a great solution for cutting gas prices all the time. There's no way we're getting some gas station credit card. We have talked about getting hubby a bike since he only works 1 mile down the road but it's not your average road and there are NOT any bike lanes. He also has to drive a couple hours away at least once a month. It's a temporary solution anyway because we have no idea how far we'll be once our lease is up. I do tend to overestimate (both the cost per gallon AND the amount we'll need) what we'll need to avoid surprises.

    Then there's the food: THIS is a major work in progress. I think we do pretty well. We could definitely use Aldi's more often. I could also be more diligent about coupons. I'm working on some recipes that are cheap and healthy. This isn't so easy since by healthy I actually mean HEALTHY and not mac n cheese with REAL cheese or turkey corndogs. Although, I won't deny it if those things end up on our menu. I'll have to get back with what I come up with for this. It's definitely a challenge. 

P.S. I hope everyone has a wonderful memorial day!

Road Trips Ain't for Babies: The Basics - Part 1

We have an almost 3 year old and an 18 month old. It's about time I shared my tips and tricks for long car trips with littles. We've gone on several trips with at least one baby (when our oldest was a newborn) and now with two. We've done it when I was pregnant. We've done it with a dog. These aren't short, light-hearted trips either. They are 10-12 hours long one way (the same exact trip keeps getting longer as we need more stops with the kids as they get older).

First, there are some major points you should think about while you're planning:

The Vehicle
Is your car big enough for all the crap you're going to need? Is it efficient for driving the distance you need to go? Would it be easier, cheaper, or even safer to rent or borrow another car?

We happen to have a nice ugly minivan so this hasn't ever been an issue for us. The one time our space was limited (hubby's gear takes up a whole lot of room) we put a big roof box thing on top*.

The Directions
Do you know how to get to your destination? If you get lost are you going to be stuck in the boonies or will there be plenty of cityscape blips surrounding the interstate? Do you use a regular map? Google maps or mapquest? I know most people these days have built in navigation systems or own something like a TomTom or a Garmin or just an app on their phone. These are great tools but planning ahead like we did in the olden days can still be a big help. Will you need to stop to eat (maybe!) or pee (depends! . . . no not those kind of depends)? If you've never taken the route you're planning before it's probably a good idea to scope out the things you'll want or need. Several helpful websites can make this pre-planning a lot easier.


The Pre-Planning

Google Maps can show you where pretty much anything is going to be and even let you in on the quality of a place based on reviews. Just put in what you want ( ie"starbucks") and it should let you know where your best bet is for stopping or more importantly where your last chance opportunity for a decent cup of hot coffee on the road is going to be.

Gas Buddy lets you compare prices at local gas stations. To some people this isn't such a big deal on a daily basis maybe they all ready know the cheapest station or happen to be brand loyal. Either way, searching on here can help a lot when you'd like to avoid spending a lot more on gallons of gas. When you're going through different states this is especially helpful.

You Can Breastfeed Here is a brilliant resource for all the nursing mamas out there. Other moms have taken the time to add locations and write reviews of their experiences. There is also a listing for the laws for every state. Mamas should be prepared and comfortable nursing their sweeties wherever they happen to be and pretty much every mom knows they don't always choose the most convenient times for a meal.

Weather is something I forget very easily. If it seems like the weather is decent at home it kind of seems like everywhere else is rainy or sunny too right? Traveling into different climates is a whole other ball game but even if you'll still be in the same general climate the weather can vary a lot. Check the forecast. Even if there isn't any rain or sun on there everyone knows a forecast is just a chart for best guesses so bring the umbrella and sunscreen regardless.

A lot of these things seem obvious or even simple but if you're anything like me something is bound to slip your mind. It doesn't matter if you've done it 20 times. The most important thing to plan on is FORGETTING something or having to FORGO your original plans. PREPARE for the worst but PLAN for the best!

Now. I'm just getting to jot down all the little things I've learned over the years. Maybe one or two of these tips will prove helpful to you.

Snacks - Be generous with snacks so stops for meals aren't a big deal but don't be crazy. A bunch of sugary or salty stuff is going to freak your body out. Especially when it comes to littles, you're begging for a miserable drive if a lot of sweets are in the equation. So, here are a few ideas for easy snacks that keep well in a cooler or a cloth box:

     The Healthier Stuff:

• grapes
• edamame 
• celery
• baby carrots
• grape or cherry tomatoes
• banana or plantain chips
• raisins
• seeds or nuts (out of the shell!)
• granola bars
• whole wheat pretzels (unsalted!)
• cheese (the cubes or the thick slices!)

     The Not as Healthy Stuff:

• dum dums or other little suckers**
• nilla wafers
• goldfish
• cheerios (well, duh)
• gardettos (I don't know why but I love them for road trips)
• taffy or licorice
• your favorite chips

Toys and Entertainment - do not underestimate the attention-grasping powers of painter's tape, tissue paper, or singing really annoying kid's songs. We try to save the big guns (ipad, video games, movies, that type of thing) for when they just REALLLLY get to the point of either making the car itself commit suicide to get out of carrying the insanity around or everyone imploding. Switch things up though. IF they are for even a mild moment being content WITHOUT a toy or noise then LEAVE THEM BE. Because the chances of that happening are slim to none here are some suggestions:

     For the tiny littles (1 and under) your best bet is just getting in the back with them to play peek-a-boo the whole trip. For the very little, TRAVEL WHILE YOU CAN because unless they just hate the car they will sleep the time away and there's not much you'll have to do for them. A lot of people like those little toys for the infant car seats (I used them too!) but you should know that some manufacturer's warranties are VOID whenever you add these trinkets (or the extra cushions and such for that matter). A mirror for them to stare at the sweet, narcissistic little selves is a superb idea. Some of them don't fit well on the headrests of older cars so you may need to rig it up a bit so it doesn't fall.

     For the toddlers (1-3) you just need to get over making good time. Seriously. Right now. Look in a mirror and say "Get over it." In your mind, say "This trip is x+3 hours long" (x being the amount of time it SHOULD take). Now, the cheapest, most random stuff is going to be your best bet. Either a box of tissues or a roll of toilet paper or a pack of wipes. Let them have at that thing, ripping them and flinging them and tearing little pieces. The quiet is worth the slight mess of papers all over. Another good one is painter's tape (the blue, not-so-sticky stuff in the DIY aisle at walmart). Give them a roll or tear a few pieces. They'll experiment until they get mad but it's worth the 5 seconds of quiet concentration. If you want to get a good couple hours of non-screaming, try a NEW movie you just KNOW they'll love. This isn't a time to be an electronic snob. We're talking survival, people. Another favorite of mine is the crayola wonder no-mess markers and coloring pads. They are expensive but lovely. We have iPads with plenty of fun learning games (which I've posted about before if you need ideas!). Those are awesome but we really try to hold those off for the first few hours. My almost three year old will play without end though so that's a really easy solution. When it comes down to it, they SHOULD take a nap. If they get sleepy, try to get in the car and get going and take advantage of nap time. When they wake you're probably going to want to let them out to run or play somewhere (use google to find a park or chickfila or something!). Other ideas: these, this, this,

     For the older but still little kids (3-6) you can probably still use a lot of the toddler tactics but you can also bring books, coloring, or traditional car games like I Spy more into play. I've not BTDT quite yet myself.

     For the oldest kids (7+) . . . I tend to think sit down and shut up sounds like a plan but in my heart I know better. There a million car games and simple toys for this older age group so I have a hard time imagining it being as difficult. But alas, I've yet to BTDT . . . yet.


Car Seats - may this serve as a reminder: TRIPLE check that your seats are installed correctly and that your kiddo hasn't outgrown the seat. Seems logical if you're on the road for a greater amount of time there's a better chance of an accident. Let's all take that precaution. Check the manual, get in touch with a local installation profesional (try the police station or fire station), and double check it again. Safety is #1, right?!

Bathroom Stops - for however many pull ups/diapers/wipes/changes of clothes you think you'll need bring double. Also, bring toilet paper with you. Yeah, I've been stuck in the middle of nowhere at a spider-laden outhouse style toilet with no TP to speak of and there was no way I could hold it any longer . . . look in the camping section for the tiny roll that fits nicely in a purse, diaper bag, or glove box. People may say you're ridiculous ??but when you inevitably have that dire moment you will not care what anyone has to say about your emergency roll. You will be so thankful that you will send ME cookies with a "thanks for saving my life" card. As for stopping at decent places, that's what planning ahead is for but really if you see a place that looks acceptable don't wait for the next one. Pay attention to signs that let you know if the next rest stop isn't for another 30+ miles as well.

Organization - We aren't clean in our car. It's pretty terrible. You should've seen all the junk I found last time I vacuumed it out. If you can, take all the trash and unnecessary junk out of your car and vacuum it. You'll appreciate the clean feeling on a long trip (until it inevitably gets mucked up). Go for some febreeze on the seats or a new air freshener too. To keep things less crazy through the trip try to keep everything in it's own spot. I've found that those cheap fabric storage boxes are awesome for this. We have one for the toys that don't leave the car and we'll use one for any dry snacks we bring. We'll take our cooler for any breakfast, lunch, or cold snack foods and drinks we want***. We have one of those mesh trash bins from the dollar aisle in target as our trash can. We just pop a plastic walmart or target bag in for easy removal of all our nastiness. For extra toys: have a bag or backpack for each kid. Our girls have a land's end bag (gifts from their great grandmama!) and a little backpack each. I let them (for the most part) put some toys they want with them in the backpacks and put extras for accidents (clothes, spare pacifiers, spare sippies or bottles, a diaper, socks, blanket) or some surprises (those crayola wonder books!) in their bags. They are small and don't take up much room. I'd love to invest in one of these but I haven't yet. I think my younger daughter would hate it anyway.


* FYI, the roof box does have potential to screw over your gas mileage.
** Older kiddos only please!
*** DON'T use loose ice or even ice in ziplocs. It'll make a mess or be gross to clean out later. Try getting the gel freezer packs (nice to have if someone gets hurt too). I like the cubes you can get at the dollar store.

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